The next evening I stood in the kitchen chopping vegetables while Lillian leaned against the counter, sipping cheap wine from a jelly jar.
“Dan’s bringing groceries,” I told her, keeping my voice light. “Real ones. Not just more ramen. He said he’d grab some drinks too, and maybe we could throw on a movie after.”
Lillian raised an eyebrow. “Nice of him.”
“Yeah. Saves us from another night of sad noodles.” I tried to laugh. We were both broke enough that free food felt like a win, even if it came with strings I didn’t want to examine too closely.
“You okay after yesterday? And I don’t just mean getting fucked on the kitchen table. I mean… you still here with me?”
The mix of tenderness and crudeness made my face grow warm. “I can take cock like a champ.” I took a deep breath. “We shouldn’t let Dan make it weird between us. You’re my best friend and my roommate. A bit of dicking can’t stop that.”
We both chuckled, too loud, too quick.
Lillian had put on a little lip gloss and changed into a soft tank top that showed the curve of her shoulder. Nothing obvious. Just… nicer than usual for a night at home.
Fine. Let her try. I was not dressing up for Dan after yesterday.
He arrived twenty minutes later carrying two heavy bags and a six-pack hooked between two fingers. He moved through our kitchen like he had done it a hundred times, setting the beer on the counter, nudging the fridge shut with his hip, putting milk on the right shelf and bread in the cabinet without asking. He had brought actual fresh vegetables, pasta sauce that did not come from the discount bin, and the kind of chips Lillian always bought when she was pretending she was not stressed.
“Fancy,” she said, taking one of the bags from him.
“Only the best for you ladies,” he said.
She laughed too easily and started unpacking beside him. For a minute they looked annoyingly natural together, passing jars and cans back and forth in our tiny kitchen while I stood there with the knife still in my hand and half a pepper on the cutting board. Girlfriend shit. Tiny, harmless girlfriend shit.
Dinner was simple, pasta with actual sauce, salad, cold beers, and for a while it almost felt normal. We ate at the table with our knees bumping because the kitchen was too small for three people to pretend they had personal space. Dan complained about work. Lillian told a story from one of her seminars.
I made fun of both of them because that was easier than admitting I liked the warmth of it: plates crowded together, beer bottles sweating on the table, somebody else having paid for dinner.
For almost an hour, it was just food and dumb jokes and the kind of cheap comfort I used to think meant nothing.
After, Dan sprawled on the couch like he belonged there. Lillian sat close to him. I told myself it didn’t matter and claimed the other side.
Halfway through the movie his hand landed on my thigh. A few minutes later the other hand rested on Lillian’s. I tensed. He didn’t ask. He just started stroking higher, fingers slipping under the hem of my shorts, then doing the same to her. Lillian’s breath hitched, but she didn’t move away. Traitorous little noise.
I wanted her to push his hand off. To make this feel less inevitable. Instead she shifted her legs apart slightly, letting him in.
When Dan eased his fingers inside both of us at the same time, I bit my lip hard. He curled them slowly, lazily, while the movie flickered on. Lillian let out a soft sound. I hated how easily she gave in. How quickly she was making this normal.
Dan’s cock was already out. Lillian slid down without prompting and took him into her mouth. I watched her head bob, watched Dan’s fingers keep working between her legs. Apparently I had enough jealousy to go around. Some for him, plenty left over for her.
I reached over and pushed her head down harder onto him.
Lillian startled, making a muffled noise around his cock. I kept my hand there, pressing firmly, forcing her to take him deeper. Dan groaned. I wasn’t doing it for him. I was doing it because she had let this happen. Because she had smiled and unpacked his groceries and spread her legs like it was nothing. If she wanted to make this real, then she could choke on the cost of it.
I held her there while Dan’s fingers sped up inside me. Spite and arousal had apparently decided to share a drink. Lillian’s throat worked around him. When I finally let her up for air she gasped, eyes watering, lips shiny.
She looked at me with wet eyes and her mouth still open. I could not tell if she wanted to slap me or pull me closer.
Dan came in her mouth a few minutes later. Lillian swallowed, breathing hard, then sat back between us. The movie kept playing like nothing had happened.
Eventually Dan got up to grab another beer from the kitchen. The moment he was gone, Lillian turned to me on the couch. Her voice was low, a little hoarse.
“Was that for him… or for me?”
I shrugged, trying to sound indifferent even as my pulse still raced. “You seemed fine with everything else. Figured you could handle a little more.”
She studied me for a long second. Her face changed, but I had no fucking idea what she had decided about me.
“Got it,” she said quietly.
Neither of us spoke until Dan came back with three fresh drinks, completely unaware that anything had changed.