Who’s who

The narrator who keeps making the decisions the title warns you about.

First appears

The Fridge Light (Arc 1)

Arcs

1, 2, 3, 3.5, 4

Narrator

Arcs 1, 2, 3 and 4

Mia (full name Miriam) is a 25-year-old New Yorker with dirty blonde hair and green eyes, who grew up in Maplewood, New Jersey. She has a remote office job she is quietly neglecting, and a habit of following her impulses before her common sense. She shares an apartment in Astoria with her best friend Lin, and narrates most of the story with a dry, self-mocking voice. Under the jokes, she badly wants to feel wanted and to belong somewhere, and she is still working out what in her life is really her own.

Connections

• Lin best friend and roommate; their feelings for each other are the heart of Arc 1
• Dan her ex, who never quite stays an ex
• Leah Dan's new colleague, who becomes a big part of Mia's life from Arc 2
• Philip her older brother

Mia's sweet, hard-to-read best friend, who is much more complicated than she lets on.

First appears

The Fridge Light (Arc 1)

Arcs

1, 2, 3, 3.5, 4

Narrator

Arc 3.5

Lin (Lillian Dwyer) is Mia's best friend and roommate in Astoria. She is 25, blue-eyed and originally from Iowa. She moved to New York at 18, partly to get away from home, spent a year studying psychology, dropped out and worked for two years, then went back to school in 2023, the year Mia graduated. She is now studying art history at Hunter. She loves karaoke, barely swears ("crud") and tends to keep what she really feels to herself. Her independence matters a great deal to her, and love that comes with expectations can feel like being tied down, yet she also needs to feel safe with the people closest to her. Her relationship with control, both having it and giving it up, is more complicated than her sweet manner suggests.

Connections

• Mia best friend and roommate
• Dan part of the Arc 1 triangle
• Leah met through Dan in Arc 2
• Anna her high-school bully
• Ethan, Mateo, Noah, Oliver, Dev her Arc 3.5 housemates

A London-raised cosplayer and planner who always has a plan - and usually a spreadsheet to go with it.

First appears

Dan’s Offsite – Day 1 (Arc 2)

Arcs

2, 3, 3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 3.5)

Leah, 23, grew up in London, where her Japanese parents and her younger sister Aiko still live, and she sounds thoroughly English. She is new in New York, organised to the point of intimidation, and a serious cosplayer and costume-maker who sews, does makeup and builds props. Being prepared and in control is how she copes, so she can seem effortlessly sure of herself, but she worries more than she lets on and does not have everything figured out. Online she is known as Vesper Velvet. She is also a former two-time regional karaoke champion, and has firm views on tea. Everything she uses is built around one dry, woody scent: Le Labo Hinoki.

Connections

• Dan met him at work; he stays important to her
• Mia met through Dan; the two quickly become close
• Keiko her mother
• Aiko younger sister
• Rina one of her closest friends, from the cosplay scene

Mia's easygoing ex, who fixes things, brings groceries and somehow ends up in the middle of everything.

First appears

The Fridge Light (Arc 1)

Arcs

1, 2, 3, 3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 3.5)

Dan is Mia's ex-boyfriend; they broke up a few weeks before the story begins. He works early shifts, is handy around the apartment, owns power tools and a smoker, and is generally calm, practical and good-natured. He is also fairly private. He rarely drives the action, but he links the three women: he is Mia's ex, he is involved with Lin from the start of the story, and he is the colleague who brings Leah into their lives.

Connections

• Mia ex-girlfriend
• Lin part of the Arc 1 triangle
• Leah work colleague from Arc 2, later a close friend
• Rina friends through Leah

A towering cosplay pro with a soft voice and a big heart.

First appears

Comic-Con – Day One (Arc 3); first mentioned in Are you my girlfriend? (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 3.5)

Rina is one of Leah's oldest friends from the cosplay scene; they met at a convention in London about five years before the story. She is 6'4", strong, skilled with a sewing machine, and a working cosplayer hired by game companies for events. She lives in LA and posts as BossSize. Before the story, Capcom hired her to cosplay Juri at EVO, and she got Leah onto the same paid gig.

Connections

• Leah close friend
• Mia new friend from Arc 3
• Dan friends through Leah
• Marcus dated him "for like half a second"

Leah's mother: polished, formidable and always three moves ahead.

First appears

Dinner with Keiko (Arc 3); first mentioned in A Soft Spot (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 4

Keiko lives in London with Leah's father and Aiko. She runs the London-based Takahashi Events Group (TEG) and is well known on the events circuit. Her relationship with Leah is loving, competitive and complicated in equal measure.

Connections

• Leah elder daughter
• Aiko younger daughter

Leah's younger sister back in London.

First appears

Dinner with Keiko (Arc 3) (mentioned)

Arcs

3, 4 (only mentioned in 3, 4)

Aiko is Leah's younger sister. She is mentioned but never seen: she is 15, lives in London with their parents and is still at school there, is a keen boulderer who recently sent her first V5, and misses Leah.

Connections

• Leah older sister
• Keiko mother

Lin's high-school bully, who isn't done with either of them.

First appears

Wedding Day (Arc 3); first mentioned in Lin’s Homecoming (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 3.5, 4

Anna was Lin's bully back in high school in Iowa, and seeing her again is the last thing Lin wants. She is engaged to Mark.

Connections

• Lin former target
• Mark fiancé

Anna's mild-mannered fiancé.

First appears

The Return of Anna (Arc 4); first mentioned in Wedding Day (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 3, 3.5)

Mark is Anna's fiancé: lean, neatly dressed, with glasses and short brown hair, and not at all intimidating. According to Anna, he earns six figures.

Connections

• Anna fiancée

A huge, friendly photographer who runs a Street Fighter fan site.

First appears

Comic-Con – Day One (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Marcus (handle AfterFlash) is 6'7" and runs a Street Fighter fan site with a cosplay section. He is working on a book of effects-heavy cosplay photos.

Connections

• Mia met at Comic-Con
• Rina an ex, very briefly

Content note - the spoiler section refers to a boundary violation.

The charming housemate who shows Lin around her new place.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Ethan is 26, Black, and doing a master's in Mechanical Engineering. He holds the lease on the shared apartment and organises the house's famous Halloween party with house meetings and stand-ups.

Connections

• Lin housemate

The house cook, who makes most of the dinners.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Mateo is 25, Mexican-American, studying architecture, and responsible for most of the house's dinners and most of its conversation.

Connections

• Lin housemate
• Oliver housemate

The quiet computer guy who notices everything.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Noah is 24, Korean-American and studying Computer Science. According to Mateo, he "does computers and judges us silently."

Connections

• Lin housemate

The oldest housemate: a law student who cooks a good stew.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Oliver is 27, the oldest in the house, and studying for his JD. Law school has left him little time for anything else.

Connections

• Lin housemate
• Mateo housemate

The film student who runs the house's movie server.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Dev is 23, Indian-American, studying Film and Media Studies, and in charge of the house media server and the party playlists.

Connections

• Sophie girlfriend of about two years
• Lin housemate

Dev's girlfriend and Lin's first girls'-night partner in the new house.

First appears

New House, New Lin (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Sophie is 23, Chinese-American (her grandparents are from Hong Kong), and in her first year of a Psychology master's. She doesn't live in the house but pays into the food fund and is there constantly.

Connections

• Dev boyfriend
• Ava dorm roommate
• Lin friend

Sophie's roommate, who keeps turning up at Lin's door.

First appears

Lin’s Girls Night Out (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Ava is 18, Sophie's dorm roommate and a student: blonde, usually in a braid, blue-eyed and about five-three. She is upbeat, direct and keeps mostly to herself online.

Connections

• Sophie roommate
• Lin meets her through Sophie

A former housemate, back in town for the Halloween party.

First appears

Halloween (Arc 3.5)

Arcs

3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 4)

Dahlia is finishing her master's at MIT and used to live in the house after a year at Hunter.

Mia's Warhammer-painting older brother.

First appears

Thanksgiving (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Philip, 31, is Mia's older brother: a little taller than her, with short dirty blonde hair and hands rough from work. He paints miniatures and is in a Warhammer group. Mia says their mother doesn't trust him to settle down.

Connections

• Mia younger sister
• Claire girlfriend

Mia's dad: warm, progressive and very easily charmed.

First appears

Thanksgiving (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Mia's father lives in Mia's childhood home in Maplewood, New Jersey. He is the kind of dad who made his daughter read Marx at fourteen.

Connections

• Mia daughter
• Philip son

Mia's mother, with strong opinions about her children's lives.

First appears

Thanksgiving (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Mia's mother cooks a traditional Thanksgiving spread.

Connections

• Mia daughter

Philip's girlfriend.

First appears

Thanksgiving (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Claire comes to Thanksgiving with Philip.

Connections

• Philip boyfriend

Lin's cousin, the bride.

First appears

Wedding Day (Arc 3); first mentioned in Lin’s Homecoming (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 3.5 (only mentioned in 3.5)

Shelly is Lin's cousin. Her barn wedding in Ankeny, Iowa, is the reason Lin goes home in Arc 3.

Connections

• Lin cousin

A wedding guest from Boston.

First appears

Wedding Day (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 3.5, 4 (only mentioned in 3.5, 4)

Anthony is a business analyst in Boston, recently single, and played basketball in high school. Mia meets him at Shelly's wedding.

Mia's most loyal stream regular.

First appears

The Build (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

mossybyte is a chat regular on Mia's Twitch streams who has an emotional reaction to every story choice and likes soundtracks and musicals.

Connections

• Mia streamer

TEG's Senior Production Manager.

First appears

Moving In / Clearing Out (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Malcolm is TEG's Senior Production Manager. He oversees the penthouse fit-out and hires event staff.

Connections

• Leah colleague

The performer who thinks the Halloween job is the best idea anyone has ever had.

First appears

The Offer (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Elias Voss (@OffAxis) is a cosplayer and performer whom Rina "nudged" into signing up for Leah's Heidi Klum Halloween job. He's glimpsed at Comic Con Day 1, seen but not spoken to, and first properly turns up in The Offer, when he joins Rina after Sunday at Comic Con. Rina, as seamstress, handles his fittings, and he stays relentlessly upbeat about the whole project.

Connections

• Rina friend and fellow performer
• Leah hired him for the Halloween job

The makers and performers behind VV Creative's first big job.

First appears

The First Job (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

The seamstresses Beth and Ellen; Magnus "the Manufacturer", who builds mechanisms; Celeste, the chef who feeds the whole crew; and the costumed performers Darius, Priya, Gwen, Felix, Rowan and Imani. Imani is a cosplayer and wheelchair user whose chair becomes a mechanical mermaid tank.

Connections

• Leah boss

The friends Leah shoots and convention-hops with.

First appears

Are you my girlfriend? (Arc 3)

Arcs

3, 4

Leah's regular cosplay friends include Camilla, Brian, Nadia and Tessa, as well as Rina. In a Castlevania group shoot, Camilla plays Carmilla, Nadia plays Lenore and Tessa plays Sypha, and Brian, a blacksmith, built much of the set. Leah calls Camilla and Brian basically a package deal, and thinks Tessa could get work as a host and judge.

Connections

• Leah friend

Their usual TEG driver, with opinions about wealth.

First appears

The Spa – Day One (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Thomas drives for the car service Mia and Leah use through TEG. He first appears in Spa Day One as their unnamed driver, and later chapters (including Mia's birthday) name him as the same driver. Any time Mia or Leah uses the company car service, Thomas is their driver. He also gives Mia some unexpected perspective on money.

A wealthy guest at the spa who knows Keiko.

First appears

The Spa – Day Two (Arc 4)

Arcs

4

Catherine is a philanthropist and board member, with two daughters (Eleanor and Charlotte) at university. She has worked with Keiko's company before.

The people at Mia's old job.

First appears

Dan’s Offsite – Day 2 (Arc 2)

Arcs

2, 3

Mia's managers Johanna Eriksson and Martin Cole, and Jack, another producer on the team.

Connections

• Mia employee