I was barely catching my breath when Dan rolled off me, his skin slick against mine. The sheets were twisted around my legs, and the room smelled like sweat and the vanilla candle I’d lit earlier to “set the mood.”
’Cause I’m a fancy bitch who likes a little romance with a lay.
He stretched, letting out that low grunt he always made after he came, like he’d just finished a particularly satisfying workout. I watched him sit up, the muscles in his back shifting under the cheap lamp light. We had officially broken up a few weeks back, but he was good at sex, I was horny, and I am not made of stone. It was too easy. I told myself it was because I held the cards now. No labels, no expectations. Just two people who knew exactly how to make each other feel good.
“You’re staying?” I asked, voice lazy.
He smirked over his shoulder. “Nah. Early start tomorrow. But I need to piss first.”
I laughed under my breath as he stood up, completely naked, and padded out of my room without bothering to close the door. That was Dan. Always acting like the breakup had not changed his access to the apartment. I didn’t mind. Not really. The thin walls meant Lillian had probably heard most of what we’d just done anyway, and I was sure she’d mention it tomorrow morning, like she always did.
I lay there for a minute, enjoying the warm buzz in my body, the faint ache between my legs. Lillian and I had been roommates long enough that we’d stopped pretending we didn’t notice each other’s sex lives. Or lack thereof, in her case. She’d joke about it sometimes, “Sounds like you two are having fun in there,” and I’d laugh it off, tell her she should get out more. We were best friends. It wasn’t weird. Not my fault she can’t get laid.
I heard the toilet flush down the hall. Then, instead of Dan coming straight back, there were voices. Low. Murmuring. Dan’s easy laugh, and Lillian’s softer reply. I smiled. Guess we woke her. She must have been in the kitchen. Probably grabbing a late-night snack like she always did when she couldn’t sleep. Nothing unusual. I stayed in bed, still floating in the afterbliss, listening as the apartment went quiet. I imagined them in the kitchen talking.
Then I remembered Dan was naked.
Post-sex clarity hit like a slap.
Talking to Lillian was one thing. Standing there with his cock out, laughing with my roommate like it was nothing, was something else entirely.
I sat up, the sheet slipping down my bare chest. Naked, flushed, hair a mess from where Dan had gripped it earlier, a robe would have been the smart choice.
Instead, bare feet found the floor, then the hallway, then the warm glow spilling from the kitchen.
My heart beat a little faster, not from fear, exactly, but from that strange thrill of stepping into something I maybe shouldn’t.
I moved closer, staying in the shadows of the hallway, and looked into the kitchen.
The fridge was open, and Dan’s ass was sticking out of it. He was humming something to himself.
Behind him, Lillian was on her knees, her sleep shirt hanging open, tears running down her cheeks as she wiped something wet from her lip. Her eyes moved up and met mine.
My stomach flipped.
I should have been furious. I should have stormed in, or at least backed away in shock. Instead, I stood frozen, one hand pressed against the wall for balance. Heat rushed through me, sharp and confusing, and I hated myself before I even understood why.
Dan shifted at the fridge, still not turning around.
That was enough to break me.
I made it back to my room and shut the door with shaking hands.
For a second I just stood there, naked in the dark, trying to breathe quietly. I had not seen enough to know anything. That was the lie I reached for first.
I had seen enough.
Lillian’s wet cheek. Her mouth. Her eyes.
Then I heard Dan in the hall.
Panic snapped through me. I climbed back into bed, pulling the sheet up over my chest and turning onto my side, facing the wall. I forced my breathing to slow. Pretending to sleep felt childish, pathetic, but I could not imagine looking at him. Not yet.
The door opened.
Dan came in humming softly to himself, still naked, still casual, like he had only been gone to piss and steal orange juice. I felt the mattress dip as he sat on the edge of the bed and started pulling on his clothes. His jeans rasped over his legs. His belt buckle clicked. Every small sound felt too loud.
He leaned over and kissed my shoulder.
I did not move.
“You asleep?” he murmured.
I kept my eyes shut.
After a moment he gave a quiet laugh, like he found it cute. Then he stood, gathered the rest of his things, and left.
Only when I heard the front door close did I let myself breathe properly.
The worst part was that Lillian had looked at me like she needed something and I had run. Then I had lain there and let him kiss me like I did not know.
I sat up slowly, still warm from him, and pressed both hands between my knees until they hurt. I wanted to be angry. I wanted that to be the only thing I felt.
It wasn’t.